Lisa and I have known each other for more than eight years. Our relationship has been exclusively professional. She is the person who contacts me and says “can you work for us on this project.” She had never asked me to coach her.

Today we were on an extended lunch break and she specifically asked me to coach her. She shared that she had a recent “disappointment” with her boss. It struck me as I was listening to her that the low-grade tears in her eyes did not match the level of disappointment. I asked her “let’s slow down for a moment – is disappointment an accurate word for what you are truly feeling?” She looked like I “plugged her in”. She WOKE UP to the depth, impact and intensity of her feelings. “No! I’m actually offended, really offended.”

I said “In my book, the word ‘offended’ has 5 rungs greater depth than disappointed. Now we are accurate”. She thanked me profoundly for slowing down and getting accurate.