It never ceases to amaze me the results I receive when I coach someone who is authentically triggered AND willing to be coachable. That is an incredible combo!
Tara called me today for coaching and she forecasted “I am wound UP, so frustrated about —-“. She was talking so loud, so forcefully and so fast. I let her “go” for about 90 seconds and then I said “Tara, Tara, Tara slow down, STOP”. We both took another 90 seconds to just breathe and get present to her real upset.
Tara was upset because a co-worker said she was not empathetic. I mean completely triggered and upset. I offered her a thought: “Its interesting that your co-worker’s feedback triggers you to this extent. It makes me think that if someone said to me – I think you drink too much alcohol – I would say thanks, what’s for dinner? I am not triggered. If someone says to an alcoholic – I think you drink too much – the alcoholic could be triggered for hours.”
Then we paused in the conversation and I said, “any chance you are not empathetic?” The tears of recognition flowed and true empathy for herself surfaced. Another successful WAKE UP.